All of us have experienced excruciating heartbreak at one point or another; don’t worry, you can move on, and the pain will diminish exponentially.
Here are the different stages of heartbreak and what you can expect from each step.
Step One: Denial
Most, if not all, of us feel shocked at the end of a relationship. Few relationships end with obvious warning signs and most end abruptly, with the breakup coming out of the blue. If this is the case, most of us would rather deny that the relationship has actually finished and would rather pretend that it was just a huge fight, one which you and your partner can recover from.
If you’re overwhelmed with the sense of emptiness, let it. 🙂 Don’t rush your feelings, but instead let this sadness engulf you. You’re going to make some bad decisions (such as drunk dialing or texting your ex at 1AM), but, eventually, you will be on your way to recovery sooner than you think. 😉
Step Two: Pain
Once the emptiness seeps out, it will be replaced with an indescribable amount of pain. You will spend time thinking about your relationship and thinking what you did wrong for it go awry. You’ll think that your relationship was actually perfect, and you’ll seldom think of the bad memories, instead amplifying the good ones so you end up filled with the sense of longing. You’ll start to crave the support of close friends and loved ones, AS THEY ARE THE ONLY ONES WHO CAN UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU’RE GOING THROUGH.
Step 3: Anger
This part is crucial as this will help you develop into a better person. Feel the anger and remember how it makes you feel. You’ll start to ask questions (the ever omnipresent “Why?”) and you may start to lash out. Whatever it is, do not attempt to hold back all those unspoken emotions, as you need to get rid of them. If not, you’ll bottle up your feelings and you’ll be worse off than before.
Step 4: Reflection
After you’ve spent all of your energy being angry, you will then be rational enough to understand why things had to end. You will see your own faults and you’ll acknowledge that your ex wasn’t the saint you made them out to be (in step two).
You will be enlightened and you’ll see more clearly how the relationship really was, and then you’ll hopefully see that you’re better off without it. 😉
Step 5: ACCEPTANCE
Finally, you will learn to accept that things ended, and that you have to move on. Everyone has a different capacity for moving on, but most people usually feel better about their whole situation after around three months.
At this stage, you’ll realize that, as you were picking up the broken pieces of your heart, you actually managed to pick up the broken pieces of yourself too, and now you are your own person who can stand on your own two feet, without your ex.
Most of us think that any breakup is the worst thing that ever happened to us, particularly if it was a long-term relationship. Unfortunately, there is no shortcut to recovery as you have to go through the motions to emerge a stronger, better person.
As novelist John Green writes, “Pain demands to be felt.” Embrace the pain and let it sweep you away, but learn to stand up and fight back. You are worth loving, and if you won’t believe in yourself, who else will? Chin up, hun; things are bound to get better. :)☺